Does This Light Love You Back?
Fluorescent Regrets and Other Design Crimes
Do any of you remember the Hanks/Ryan vehicle, Joe vs. the Volcano? If you don’t, I can’t blame you. It has a 66% on Rotten Tomatoes and, frankly, I think that’s pretty generous.
I watched JVTV when I was 10 or 11, so I don’t remember much about it, but there is a scene that stuck with me. As the movie begins, Tom Hanks is working in the world’s most depressing basement office. The lighting is green. GREEN. It looks like it was plucked from an episode of Chernobyl. And it traumatized little designer Luciano so much that I have never shaken it.
Joe vs The Volcano. Screenshot. imdb.com
Any respectable gay man will tell you: overhead lighting hates you.
Lighting is one of the most overlooked and most transformative parts of design. It’s also one of the easiest things to get wrong. One bad fixture can make a gorgeous space feel like a waiting room. Or worse, a dorm room. Or worse-worse, a Target fitting room with fluorescent regrets.
Here’s the good news: this is fixable. And unlike reupholstering a sofa or installing marble countertops, getting your lighting right doesn’t require an inheritance or a contractor. It just requires intention.
Start by ditching the cold, blue-toned bulbs labeled “daylight” that make your home feel like a hospital waiting room. Swap them for warm-toned bulbs that feel human, not robotic.
Many recessed lights and stand-alone bulbs these days come with multiple temperature options. Experiment with those. You’ll want a different temperature on a living room lamp than you will in your kitchen.
On my kitchen island, for example, I found that cold lighting was too harsh when hosting friends, but warm lighting wasn’t bright enough when I was cooking. So I went halfway. Two pendants have a cool temperature, and two are warmer. It’s a brilliantly happy medium.
Any respectable gay man will tell you: overhead lighting hates you. If you’ve been relying on that one ceiling fixture in the middle of the room, you deserve better. Lighting should come from multiple sources. Table lamps. Floor lamps. Wall sconces. Hidden strips. Candles. Neon, if you're feeling chaotic. One light alone can’t carry a room. It needs backup singers.
And please, for the love of mood, install a dimmer switch 🙄. It’s 2025. There is no excuse for binary lighting anymore.
When I walk into a well-lit space, I don’t just see it. I feel it. The furniture looks more expensive. The walls feel warmer. The air gets softer. It’s like the whole room exhales. And yes, faces look better, too. The right lighting is cheaper than Botox and more flattering than any filter.
So here’s your challenge: tonight, walk into your space. Turn off the overheads. Turn on a lamp. Sit in your favorite chair. Look around. Ask yourself, “does this light love me back?”
If not, you know where to find me.